Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Controlled by 3 Year Olds

I am an adult, educated woman. I used to decide simple things like when I ate, showered, slept - etc - you get the picture. Lately it seems that my life is no longer my own. I knew this going into motherhood, but I don't think I knew the extent of loss of self prioritizing that would take place.

I was out of town last week for a break away from the routines of every day. Scott did great watching the boys as I'm sure they didn't make it easy. He has spared me most of the stories, I'm sure. Anyway, there is no greater vacation buzz kill than a 3 year old tantrum. I picked the boys up from school and the happiness to see me was still there. It lasted all of 5 minutes until we got to the grocery store and they didn't have a "car cart" - you know those carts that kids can sit in and drive. We waited because God forbid they just sit in the cart like we used to. This poor bag boy (I use the word 'boy' loosley as this guy was pushing 70) searched the parking lot for us. No car carts to be found. Meanwhile, Peyton is screaming.....in Publix......while people are walking in staring at me like I'm the worst mother on the face of the earth. After 20 minutes of waiting, I threw them both in the cart, and proceeded to get the groceries. Peyton is still screaming and I'm still getting looks. I made it all the way through the store and I have one more thing to get and the poor 70 year old shows up with a car cart. So what is a smart, educated woman to do -- simple thing would be to just hurry up and be done in the existing cart. But no, this smart, educated woman is controlled by 3 year olds, so I did the most illogical thing - I transferred all my groceries to the car cart and finished my shopping and paid. I'm sure I got 20 looks of disgust throughout my trip through the store. These people either have never had kids or they have amnesia.

The night continued in the same fashion - the fights were just about different things - "I don't WANT apple sauce" - "Just one more show" - "I don't WANT to go to sleep". Thank God for endcap wine displays. My mantra is "this just cannot be normal" - it's our normal, however, and somehow I have to fight for control. All of you mothers of 4 and 5 year olds, please tell me there is light at the end of this tunnel. I'll take all the advice I can get! Meanwhile, I will embrace my "normal" and take the hugs and kisses in between the tantrums - because then there is this....
and this does cause amnesia....


  1. My dear, sweet friend! I am reaching out to you and sending prayers and hugs via the computer. I completely understand your story...I, too, can attest to the constant trials in raising or being raised by a 3 year old. Fortunately I only have the one ruler, I can only imagine two mini dictators.

    But, I do love the way you ended your blog...the hugs and kisses in between the outbursts and tantrums make it all worth while.

    Hang in there...they will be teenagers soon and that's when the REAL adventures begin!

  2. Alright, I am going to give it to you straight. Your screwed! I had a friend ask me once right before he had his first child if his life was going to change. I told him that "No, your life does not change. The life as you knew it ends and a whole new one starts." Having my 3 older teenagers, it is just different hassles (curfews/partys/drinking/SAT's/money). Luckily I don't have a life or it might interfere with the things I need to do with and for them, so that works out well. At the end of the day though, would you really ever change anything? Can you imagine life without those hellions? Embrace it, enjoy it and take comfort that not only are you not the first mother to have a screaming kid in the grocery store, but next week it will be Grayson screaming.

  3. Hi Ellen -

    This is Maria from your husbands' work. I've enjoyed reading this. It sure brings back memories. I have my princess who is 8yrs old but I also have 2 boys. They are however much older than your twins. Oh, the good old days! I found the light at the end of the tunnel alright but unfortunately, I couldn't tell you when. It was a long wait for sure. Now that they're much older, they get in my nerves in a totally different ways :-). All 3 keep me on my toes. You got to love them! Hang in there and enjoy the fun and closeness within the family. Have a great day!